Ode to the lady in the polka dot dress.

26 Aug

It was early, but I was in a super duper mood.  I might even describe it as chipper.

The call came to board the plane – all MVP and MVP Golds (oh, that’s me).  We line up awaiting our turn, when polka dot dress lady (and her cankles) struts herself past all of us to the front and proceeds to cut the line…  Really?!?  You know that you aren’t actually going to take off before the rest of us get on the plane right???  All the while she is on her phone, and I am miffed.

I go to board the plane – 4b is my seat.  I round the corner and guess who is sitting in 4a? PDD lady, well and now she is partially sitting in 4b too.  So, I grab the arm rest to put it down, and she looks at me and asks, “are you sitting here?”  No, lady – I just happen to like to put down all the armrests.  I have OCD reeeal bad!!  I respond, “uh, yeah!”

This lady is probably 43, she has ugly shoes, and is on her phone yet not talking – at all – for like 20 minutes.  Here’s the kicker – she was smacking her gum, and popping her gum, and snapping her gum like she was a 5th grader.  What I wanted to do was stick out my hand, and say, “spit it out.”  What I did, after 25 mins of this crap, was find my own gum – and went to town.  I tried to channel my inner valley girl.  Chewed as loud as possible… until she was staring at me.  She stopped the smacking.  I was smiling inside.

But seriously – the purpose of this post is to remind us all that we shouldn’t lose our sense of common courtesy while flying.  There is something about airports that make people act like cave persons and 5 year olds.  We are all (for the most part) normal grown people, and if you choose to act like an ass – just hope you don’t sit next to me!

Until next time,


2 Responses to “Ode to the lady in the polka dot dress.”

  1. Dedra August 26, 2010 at 8:07 pm #

    Good job Andi. The episode with the gum made me think of you and the lady with the gum at Bloomsday. No one that was there will ever forget you sticking your hand under that lady’s mouth and telling her to spit it out. You were a character then and you still are. I agree with you about people and flying – they turn into monsters. I still remember the flight I was on and I was in the window seat and there was a slender guy on the isle and would ya know here comes this really “round” lady and she sits in the middle seat, taking up half of mine and half of the guy on the isle. Once we are in the air, she puts her tray down and has a HUGE bag of candy she gets out of her purse and has it in her lap under the tray. She continually puts her hands under the tray and gets a piece of candy – like we don’t know what she is doing. Finally I had had enough and told her put the candy on the tray and quit acting like we don’t know what the hell she is doing. She never ate another piece during that flight. People are dumb!! Love your blog, every time I finish reading it I can’t wait until the next one. Mom

    • Dedra August 26, 2010 at 8:11 pm #

      How about aisle seat – need to proof read before submitting!! Sorry 😦

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